Pumping During A Pandemic
In March 2020, my in-office job at a fast-paced tech company went 100% virtual (remote) — like so many others in America and around the world. You’d think (and I thought) that this would be perfect for a mom of three who was pumping and breastfeeding. But it immediately threw my tried and true pumping schedule way off track. And, my supply suffered. Nothing irreversible or unmanageable, but not what I expected.
In retrospect, with much less cloudy vision, I can pinpoint four key reasons my well-honed pumping fell apart.
1) Schedule changes
Like working mothers everywhere, when “stay at home” went into effect, I suddenly found myself at home with two children (the baby still went to an in-home daycare). Both kids had multiple zoom lessons each day, and a packet full of work that required mom assistance. And my schedule didn’t get lighter as I transitioned to a remote setup. I had meetings all day and work to do in between. The quiet breaks or even pump-while-I-work time was gone. And each day was a different setup. Schedules were irregular and stressful, and I couldn’t find consistent way to pump.
How I coped: Nap time. I found the only time I could commit to pumping was during the quiet of nap time. Unfortunately, this was also the time I set aside to do my work. For my job. So it was often a mad rush of pumping/eating/working/repeating. Grace.
2) Exhaustion
Pumping milk has always just been a task on the list — like making lunches, doing the dishes, or walking the dog. But in my pandemic stay-at-home two jobs at once world, I deprioritized pumping, thinking 1) I’ll do it tomorrow (and later, I’ll do an extra session tomorrow) 2) We have to use the milk in the freezer anyway (although I am never a full-freezer kind of pumper) and 3) I’m at home, I’ll just nurse more. The more tired I got from managing this new life, the less I wanted to pump — and the less I pumped.
How I coped: Early bedtimes, for everyone. Less news. Cosmic Matcha in the morning, with a strict 11am cutoff. Less News. Wim Hoff inspired cold showers. Morning walks. Less news. Grace.
4) Mom-ing
Pumping is so difficult when there are other little kids running around. Always. I’ve relied on the wonderful, magnificent and game-changing Willow to combat the hurdle of having to be a mom while being a mom (i.e. pumping while playing). But, as COVID and fear grew, I wanted to fully be with my kids. It had little desire to pump and try and be present. I just didn’t want to pump when I hung out with my kiddos.
How I coped: It helped to keep sending the baby to daycare. I eventually had a nanny come in the afternoons. Intentionally carving out time to be present with my kids. Grace.
5) Stress
All of it — the schedule changes, exhaustion, mom-ing — increased the stress 100 times over. And reading the news in the morning added a unique layer of anxiety. It’s well-documented that stress effects milk supply. When I did pump, I got less and less milk. It’d discouraging when you spend 20 minutes hooked up, to get two ounces.
How I coped: Less news. Ashwagandha Tulsi Tea. Easy yoga (alo moves was a wondrous find, get 10% off). Magnesium (Mag Glycinate, 3 caps before bed — ah-mazing). Grace.
There’s nothing about pumping milk that’s easy. It’s a huge burden to commit to providing breastmilk to child. In the best of times, it goes smoothly. In the worst of times, it’s a daily struggle. And here’s the thing, this struggle happens behind closed doors. Or, it’s written off because it’s a choice, it’s not essential and it’s selfish (eye rolls to all of that). But it’s a worthy struggle. It’s a wise choice. It’s an essential part of biology and it’s a gracious offering. If you’re pumping now, or you pumped through the worst of COVID, or you quit pumping — or you wanted to nurse and pump and it didn’t work out — know that your struggle is/was valid. It was worthy and every piece of what you put into it and regardless of the outcome, it was valuable.
If you need someone to remind you, we’re here.